Somehow, I thought this would feel different. Today was officially my second day of my new career as a stay-at-home "mom". Trouble is, I got a little ahead of myself, and I'm not a mom yet. All my years of working, and especially the past couple when I've been married, I've looked forward to that SOMEDAY moment when I would be able to quit my job and stay home. I've longed for it, begged for it, planned for it. And got my way. (I usually do.) I thought of all the wonderful things I could accomplish if only I didn't have the drain of time and energy that was my job.
Yeah. So today, I slept in until nine, raced around to get myself together and get to the foster care office to be fingerprinted, dropped a couple checks off at the bank, and by 10:30, I was back home. The day stretched before me like the first page of a new journal...full of possibilities. What did I do? Well, I'd like to say I maximized my newfound freedom by attacking the weekend's worth of dirty dishes and laundry that screamed at me from the moment I walked in the door, or maybe went for a walk in the gorgeous Oregon sunshine (the payoff for all that yucky rain the other half of the year is PERFECT springs and summers), relaxed with a good book or craft during the afternoon, and topped it all of by having at least an IDEA of what to make for dinner by the time my hubby Robert got home. That's what I'd like to say.
In reality, I did nothing. I read email, played mindless computer games, watched afternoon TV (I just turned it on for a little background noise, of course! Not because I'm addicted or anything.) Then I felt a little tired and was considering a nap when I realized it was already 4:30 and Robert would be home in half an hour! That led to some halfhearted swishing of the living room clutter so it would look like I accomplished at least something with my day. (I don't think he was convinced.) A quick dinner in front of the TV turned into me watching while Robert read a book...until he yawned and said it was time for bed. "Before or after?" I said. "Huh? Before or after what?" "Before or after spending some time with me...or was that instead of?" He laughed...but apparently it was instead of, because he's sleeping and I'm moping. I know that it's going to be an adjustment, and that this was my idea, and that it will get easier once we get our first baby...hopefully soon! But for tonight, I'm a mommy-to-be in need of some serious motivating and a purpose to wake up for tomorrow.
